I’m going to start off the blog series with a controversial topic, in my Unapologetically Candid style!
As part of this series, I asked each participant one question.
“What is a challenge you have faced as a woman that others don’t really understand?”
Each response shook me. Madison’s response was so relevant, it caught me off guard. There were a few moments like that during her session that I will divulge later on, but let’s first discuss the challenge she spoke of.
Her response was: “Most women will understand this - I hate that women don't feel comfortable walking alone, especially at night. The fear of toxic men has a huge impact on decisions we make everyday.”
History has taught women that we are property to be owned. History has taught us that we have a “place” in society. History has taught us that our worth is measured in how others perceive us.
I find it so difficult to believe that in the 21st century version of the United States, the “land of the free” and “home of the brave”, women are still seen as feeble and property. WAKE UP AMERICA! Women are the most badass people on this planet and we aren’t something to be owned. To think otherwise is archaic and patriarchal.
SPEAKING OF PATRIARCHY
I recently saw a tiktok where an actor from Greensboro named Chris Jones (@staticjones_ on instagram) was explaining a quote by a woman names LeAndra Lee Baker. She alluded to patriarchy in a very relevant way.
What if that isn’t how women want to use their lives? Women shouldn’t have to live in fear, nor should we be seen as property for men to survive. I should be able to walk home from class late and not have to hold my keys in between my fingers as a weapon. Yeah I got my black belt in a martial art, but living with my head on a constant swivel shouldn’t be a reason I need to use my skills. How can we really be free and live in a country where the only free and safe people are the people with power?
Another profound moment during Madison’s session was during a break. It was an absolutely gorgeous day outside – Downtown Raleigh has really beautiful city skylines and we did a majority of her session on top of a parking deck. While we were up there, we had the view over a firehouse where some fire fighters were working out. THIS IS WHERE IT GET’S INTERESTING.
She caught me in the act of verbally admiring the hard work they were putting via a whistle. Now, you may be thinking, a whistle isn’t so bad, right? WRONG. When women go to the gym and men see them working out, they don’t like to be whistled at. When I’m walking down a street, it makes me uncomfortable to be whistled at. Although he couldn’t hear me because we were so far away from each other, it still wasn’t right.
The Golden rule has always taught us to do unto others as we want others to undo to us. She caught me and held me accountable for my actions. I whistled at this unknowing man without thinking about what my whistle meant. Indubitably, this man or other men like him have whistled at women walking past them, on the other side of the street, across a campus without thinking about it, but no one held him accountable for his actions.
In case it hasn’t been made abundantly clear to you, my dear reader, women do not owe anything to anyone, especially men.
We are free and independent with no obligation to act, dress, or be any kind of way for anyone but ourselves. We never ask for it. I will do better to be a better person and treat others as I would want to be treated, you should too.
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